It’s complicated with Facebook and me.

On the one hand, I absolutely adore Facebook. I love that it allows me to stalk other people with such a peripatetic grace and ease. I love that I can peek into the not-so-secret nooks and crannies of other people’s often carefully curated versions of themselves. I love that Facebook is proof of Pavlov, that every time I see a little red number at the top of my status bar I'm reminded that I am NOT ALONE in my love of grumpy cat/ appreciation of an indie music video/ alignment of political belief, so much so that I salivate. Really. It’s kind of gross proof, but it’s proof nonetheless.

And then there’s this thing I do with Facebook, an automatic response, actually, to certain posts that I find offensive or dull-witted, that I like to call the digital eye roll. It's shameful but I love it. I’m almost certain I’m not alone in this, and though it’s not a very nice thing for me to talk about out loud, I’m totally subject to the basest of my instincts despite all my namastes and protestations to the contrary. Trust me, if I could sat nam my way out of being a bit of a bitch, I totally would, but alas, I cannot.

Here’s what makes my eyes roll involuntarily: masters of the humble brag (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), and posts that ask others to withhold judgement. Really, isn’t the whole point in posting something to be judged, so the little red number pops up in the status bar and we salivate? Isn’t that what we’re asking for when we post vacation/ baby/ cat pictures/ political rants/ links to our annoying blog that we want you to read and participate in, a judgement? Facebook is 100% about this-- we are begging people for a reaction, and we don't get to ask for only a positive one. You don’t get approval without disapproval in the same way you can’t expect to be all things to all people. It’s simply an unnatural impossibility.

I actually find the judgement of it all kind of refreshing in this regard.

PostedApril 15, 2013

Authormelissa mcclure

Categoriesbreakfast, desserts & sweet treats, vegetarian, dessert

Tagsbad blogger, breakfast-palooza!, breakfast for dinner, soupapalooza!, soup with a side of ennui, recipe, blueberry, blueberry compote, facebook narcissism, waffles, Facebook fail, it's complicated, let it go already

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I don't just think it's Spring, I KNOW it's Spring because peas showed up at the farmer's market at Larchmont on Sunday, along with Reza from Bravo's "Shahs of Sunset", but that's another emergency breakthrough altogether.

Simple. Sweet. Beautiful. Delicious. And I'm not just talking about Reza's mustache.

It's a shame that many of us grew up at a time when the only peas we ever saw on our plates were from a can, because I wouldn't even look at a pea until I was well into adulthood. Now I can't get enough of them; the bright color, the sweetness and the heralding of good weather are only a few reasons why they make a really attractive appetizer.

PostedMarch 5, 2013

Authormelissa mcclure

Categoriesappetizers and snacks, vegetarian

Tagsvegetarian, can be tailored vegan, peashoots, green peas, spring pea, spring has sprung, appetizer, reggiano-parmesan, parmesan, balsamic vinegar, crostini, finger food, reza

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Four New Year’s Eves ago I got dumped. Three birthdays ago I also got dumped, exactly one year and four days later, by a different guy for the first of what would later be two separate dumpings. I know, it’s a lot of math for an opening paragraph, but I hope you’ll bear with me.

Actually it was four New Year’s Eve eves ago, but for dramatic purposes I prefer to tell the story with the dumping on the holiday as opposed to about the holiday. It’s neater, more horrifying and narratively tidier.

I had just returned from Texas and even though he had taken me to the airport on my way out of town, he had not called in several days, most notably not even on Christmas itself, and had not offered to pick me up outside of baggage claim or anywhere else for that matter. Expecting very little of both myself and of my paramours, I hadn’t bothered to call him, either, to get a real read on the situation, but had instead been “sitting on my hands” at the advice of a quack therapist that a close friend at the time based most of her life decisions on. A quack who, by the way, has since been on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, famously telling some poor girl, “men fall in love with virtues, not vaginas!” I totally beg to differ. Bitch may be Patti Stanger’s version of Mr. Miyagi, but I’m still giving her and her advanced old-age quackery my most fervent side-eye.

It was afternoon and I was looking forward to making plans for New Years Eve, even though if you (and by you I mean me) are still planning on making plans with a guy less than 24 hours before New Year’s Eve and he hasn’t brought it up, he’s probably not taking you to the Rainbow Room for dinner. In fact, you may not actually be dating him at all, even if you’re, like, totally sure you are.

PostedJanuary 25, 2013

Authormelissa mcclure

Categoriesvegan, vegetarian, soup

Tagsscrew your pumpkin pasta, Freud Freud Freud!, recipe, carrot, It's not me? Oh yes it is., mt. dumpatoa, can be tailored vegan, let it go already, Raoul's, New Year's Eve eve blows, soup, Soho is now ruined forever for me, curry, lentils, soup with a side of ennui, soupapalooza!, vegetarian

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I'm totally not a thief or a stalker (don't ask any of my exes about that, please), but I am: 1) obsessed with Orangette's beautiful and delicious blog and 2) completely appropriating this banana bread recipe. It is DIVINE. And easy. And eggless, which seemed weird to me before I tried it, but was absolutely not an issue at all. This banana bread hits the perfect balance of moist and cakey and has just the right amount of sweetness. The demerara sugar that is added before the loaf goes in the oven makes the best craggy little sugary crust I have ever tasted. And even if you don't like coconut (I think I'm on a serious coconut kick, by the way), it is subtle enough that it simply adds to the texture.

You can find demerara sugar at Whole Foods and some other gourmet markets-- don't skip it or substitute it if you can (though I am thinking that the next time I try this recipe I will sub bourbon for the rum and bourbon sugar for the demerara for a little southern twist).

PostedNovember 30, 2012

Authormelissa mcclure

Categoriesdesserts & sweet treats, vegetarian

Tagsrecipe, coconut, sweets, blog love, banana bread, demerara, vegetarian, orangette, gift idea, dessert

1 CommentPost a comment

There have been way too many comings and goings around here lately. In some cases this is kind of heartbreaking and it's killing me, but in others, well, it's a welcome relief*. But to be honest, I'm completely emotionally depleted from all of it and that does not bode well for the coming endless onslaught of holiday family meshugas, shenanigans and triangulations. It's never awesome to attack this season on an empty emotional stomach, but unfortunately that seems to be my situation this year. I'm so thankful I'm not turning 40 on top of all of it, though the fact that I'm turning 41 does mean I'm really in my 40s now (do I buy the orthopedic shoes and cut my hair off?), so I've got that to remember when I need an emotional appetite suppressant while I'm visiting my family in Texas. Which is good because I'll need it.

Please don't get me wrong, my family is made up of seriously fantastic and totally weird personages and I couldn't love any other human beings on the planet more than them, but for some reason if I go into a situation with all of them all at once I revert into an incredibly petulant twelve year old, almost without exception. And this behavior isn't reserved for just my parents, oh no, it extends a full 100 yards on a multi-generational football field. Like a couple of years ago when I was stuck riding on the hump in the backseat of my brother's family car squished between two child car seats (I love how 40 years later it's still the place I always get relegated to in the car)...I got into a very interesting game of "I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I" with my young nephew that was not happening in the I'm-older-and-pretending-to-be-Pee-Wee-Herman-because-I'm-the-cool-aunt kind of way but more in the you-and-I-are-the-same-emotional-age-and-you're-pissing-me-off-and-I-don't-have-a-rational-argument-for-you kind of way. It ended with me getting so annoyed that I popped his balloon, literally, that he had gotten as a souvenir at a baseball game while my niece tried to feed me cheerios, dropping them onto my white pants with her sticky fingers. My brother had to inject some rationality and break up the ruckus. Yes, I am Auntie of the Year in everyone's book. I fully admit to extreme assholery.

PostedNovember 16, 2012

Authormelissa mcclure

Categoriesdesserts & sweet treats, vegetarian

Tagsbrown sugar, recipe, sweets, coconut, explain the single away, worlds most awesome aunt, I know you are but what am I, chews, oatmeal, soupapalooza!, cookies, dessert, peter pan

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buttermilk waffles with blueberry compote: It's complicated in my relationship with Facebook

pea and mint crostini: we interrupt this program with news that Spring has sprung!

curried lentil soup: if I were a landmark I might be called Mt. Dumpatoa

Orangette's eggless banana coconut bread: I'm stealing this recipe in a big, bad kind of way

brown sugar coconut oatmeal chews: I know you are but what am I? Wait, don't answer that

Why? Because soup is cheap, delicious and easy. Kind of like me.

a weekly attempt to eat well and to savor life. or to see how much food I can get on my clothes.