It is true that the Duck Man has a pool. It is also true that I, in a very uncharacteristically brazen and aspirational way, declared to the Girl Whose Name Sounds Better Pronounced as an Indian Food Dish and to the Equestrian to Kids of the Stars at the Duck Man’s holiday party in December that we were going to be lounging by that pool (and grilling and drinking next to it) all summer. I imagined myself ten pounds lighter (with an extra couple inches attached to my legs for good measure) in a chic black bikini perched as the mistress of the pool, doling out invitations and kebabs with a royal, benevolent flourish.

I am an asshole. Once again, I have counted my chickens before they hatched into chicken nuggets and find myself somewhat short of a 3 piece order. I am hanging out in a loft/sauna with one pissed off cat instead of sunning myself next to a mid century oasis.

It is hotter than asphalt, so I am reminded of my great pool loss on this day, the day that it decided to be summer in SoCal. I guess I should count myself lucky; that I somehow managed to circumvent drawing out a “relationship” (if you could see me in person right now you’d witness the air quotes around that word, relationship) that probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway for a panoply of fantastic reasons, but that hasn’t in any way stopped me from bemoaning my pathetic, pool-less and utterly tragic fate.

Carrot with Toasted Almond Soup

Gourmet | November 2006

The secret to this simple recipe is using the best carrots you can find; taste them to make sure they are sweet and full of flavor.

Yield: Makes 4 (first course) servings

Active Time: 25 min

Total Time: 45 min

ingredients:

1 cup sliced shallots (about 4 large)

1 Turkish or 1/2 California bay leaf

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Rounded 3/4 teaspoon curry powder

1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme

1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter

1 small boiling potato (3 oz)

1 1/2 lb carrots, peeled and cut crosswise 1/4 inch thick

1 3/4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth (14 fl oz)

1 cup apple cider (preferably unfiltered)

1 1/4 cups water

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted

preparation:

Cook shallots, bay leaf, ginger, curry powder, and thyme in butter in a 2- to 3-quart heavy saucepan over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, until shallots are softened and pale golden, 6 to 8 minutes.

Meanwhile, peel potato and cut into 1/2-inch cubes.

Add potato to shallot mixture along with carrots, broth, cider, water, salt, and pepper and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until carrots are tender, 20 to 25 minutes. Discard bay leaf.

Purée soup in 2 batches in a blender until smooth, transferring as blended to a large bowl (use caution when blending hot liquids). Return to saucepan to reheat if necessary. Serve soup sprinkled with almonds.

Cooks' notes:

•Soup can be made 2 days ahead and cooled completely, uncovered, then chilled, covered. Reheat over low heat. Thin with additional water if necessary.

•Almonds can be toasted 2 days ahead and cooled completely, then kept in an airtight container at room temperature.

I definitely added more curry (in fact, I easily doubled it) and put in less cider than called for-- and added cider vinegar. And as for potatoes, I used several fingerlings in place of a boiling potato to great result.

Soup on!!

In the name of all that is unholy I am giving up Ambien. Again.

Really. It was a beautiful love affair in the beginning, with Ambien cooing sweetly in my ears, lulling me into deep, undisturbed and unfettered slumber. But I should have suspected something when those crazy, vivid and violent dreams began to happen-- I should have started snooping at Ambien’s emails or sorting through his drawers to try and uncover some evidence of the real Ambien; but I had trust. Hell, I had need, and I wasn’t about to give up on the one thing I’d happily managed to commit to...

Until, that is, the morning I woke up with a with a dozen or so little tin foil wrappers stuck to the side of my face only to then notice little brown splotches all over my arms, torso and egyptian cotton sheets. Yes, I had, in my Ambien haze, managed to procure a bag of Hershey’s kisses, eat a few and then literally roll around in the rest of the bag all night. I’m not sure if I was falling asleep as I was unwrapping them from a horizontal position or if the kisses just melted from my body heat as I slept, but it doesn’t really matter since I looked like a five year old that pooped chocolate all over her mom’s bed. Never mind the fact that I really don’t ever crave chocolate and that I couldn’t even remember buying the damn things, Ambien had turned on me.

The next day I gave Ambien it’s walking papers. The first time.

Fast forward a few (six) years...

I go through periods of crazy sleep deprivation. This has happened my entire adult life whenever there has been stress and flux; if you’ve read any of the entries on this blog you might get an idea of the self-induced tumult of my life lately-- my career and romantic missteps. So what does a girl do when she’s feeling a little crummy about herself? She calls an ex for a pick me up, of course! And Ambien, my beautiful pharmaceutical lothario, is always there to oblige.

red velvet ice cream sandwiches: don’t even pretend you don’t have pool envy

purée of carrot with toasted almonds: beets and cabrales and dried cherries... oh my!

Carrot with Toasted Almond Soup

chilled zucchini: the fine line between prosecco and propsycho

Why? Because soup is cheap, delicious and easy. Kind of like me.

a weekly attempt to eat well and to savor life. or to see how much food I can get on my clothes.