There’s this famous chef who is a tad portly and has been known to wear orange clogs (let’s just call him Mario). He has also been known to say “soup sucks.” And while it may be true that I have a somewhat fragile sensibility, and it may also be true that this “Let’s Just Call Him Mario” guy is most definitely one of the greatest living chefs, I have to fervently disagree with him on this point. It might actually be the one thing I could ever go croc to croc with him about. 

I mean, really, what kind of culinary scrooge do you have to be to hate soup? 

Soup is universal. Every culture makes it in some form or fashion. 

Soup is communal. What other dish is served from a single pot around a table?

Soup is economical. You can feed a lot of people with few fresh ingredients.

Soup can be a whole meal onto itself. What other course of dining is so all-encompassing?

Soup is humble but can be a full expression of subtle (or bold) flavor.

Soup is patient, soup is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast (unless it wins a Beard Award and then watch out, it turns into a real douche), it is not proud (unless it gets a shout-out in Bon Appetit). It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (unless it’s name is Bourdain; well, not really-- I’m IN LOVE with that guy). Soup does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Not to be grandiose or anything.